universeofshadows.me
published in 2014 on my tumblr I absolutely hate it when I am feeling so irritable and unmotivated as I am now. Just about the only thing I dislike more is my constant bitching and whining about it. It is not that I do not like my job per se, but the general circumstance of it is shredding my nerves and no, I cannot let go of it all at 6 p.m. It has been going on for a while and it is taking its toll – with no sign of giving me a break till this year’s end. Milling […]
published in 2014 on my tumblr I have suffered from a rather severe form of that twenty-first century plague that is fear of public speaking. I’ve said it before that I don’t really like scenarios where all eyes are on me and expecting me to do something – I never did. Of course, the smart thing to do in this case would’ve been to put myself out there and kill a bit of that panic each time it came around, until I was comfortable enough with the situation to not break out in a cold sweat when it loomed on […]
published in 2014 on my tumblr I have just installed a countdown app on my phone. And while I generally hold long countdowns to be masochistically frustrating, I am so burnt out that I am literally counting the days to my vacation and my week of freedom. So, according to my new app, there are 108 days (and 11 hours and 48 minutes) left till the kick-off of the Sziget festival. It will be my fifth time going and the third year in a row when I have an all-week pass – a week of enjoying carefree freedom without alarm […]
published in 2014 on my tumblr I was born at the beginning of one of the best decades in human history. Sure, you had the Cold War raging for the first half of it, you had the Intifada starting, the war in Afghanistan and the Chernobyl disaster. But you also had unprecedented economic growth. You had the relatively peaceful downfall of one of the most noxious doctrines to hold part of Europe in its grasp. You had the birth of the technology that builds the foundation of today’s high tech society. And due to the economic growth and the social shifts, […]
published in 2014 on my tumblr Useless online pop-culture quizzes are a fun thing to do when you find yourself in dire need of procrastinating at work. So when I’m pretty much tied to the office chair but mentally unable to process any more work-related information, I do those to pass the time and numb my brain. My most recent stint of this kind made me find out who I’d be as a Marvel villain or in the Star Trek universe. The interesting one though was the quiz regarding which Superhero team I should be joining. I am certainly glad […]
published in 2014 on my tumblr Have you ever not done something that your entire being ached for, because you knew that it would break someone’s heart? Have you ever smiled like you meant it and soldiered on, because you’d (I’d) rather have your (my) soul wither than your (my) conscience crumble? And as longing after longing is burning away unfulfilled, you (I) shoulder layer upon layer of guilt for every thought you (I) harbor – of running away, of deserting, of saying the final fuck-it-all and closing the door behind you (me). You (I) know you (I) won’t do it, because […]
published in 2014 on my tumblr I have a rather scary inability to compromise. I have had relationships going to waste because I cannot accept some shades of grey. I have had unpleasant discussions at work because I can’t do half-arsed things for the sake of doing them. And most of the times, I find the complete scale of values of the world around me to be pretty fucked up. Because, like every self-righteous prick out there, I too uphold the things I consider right to be right in the absolute way. Not all of them, but there are enough […]
published in 2014 on my tumblr Any advice from any friend, any therapy from any psychologist, any motivational poster out there will dish out something along these lines – taking matters into your own hands and making things happen instead of just waiting, doubting, procrastinating, fearing the possibilities and ultimately choosing inaction. If there’s just one personality trait I would like to change about me, I’d like to re-write my coding to be more of a go-getter, with the built-in self-confidence it comes with. Go out, meet people, take action, look for and seize the opportunities, rather than just cower […]
published in 2014 on my tumblr In the beginning was the Word is probably one of the few phrases of the Bible that I wholeheartedly believe. I do not doubt for a minute that words have the power to shape the world and that it was words that have always done so. Words that have struck a chord, that have lighted a spark, that have lit up inspiration, have brought about enlightenment or unleashed fear – but always words. And it is always words that shape who we become as people – or lack thereof. It is the praise, the scolding, […]
published in 2014 on my tumblr I am a firm believer that a relationship should be an enriching experience for all those involved. Any relationship. It doesn’t matter if it’s a romantic one or friendship or family ties. I do not believe in giving without receiving and taking without giving back. It might happen in the heat of the moment, it might last for a little while, but in the end it will crumble if it doesn’t do something for everybody. And that something is enrich their lives. Lend a hand, put a smile on their face, offer a shoulder […]