body image – Sights, Sounds & Rants

trans soul rebel (iv): dysphoria

June 16, 2019 No Comments

I can’t remeber ever liking my breasts. Or wanting them. When I was twelve or so, a girl from the neighborhood and me hid in the stairwell when no one would see me and she showed me her breasts and asked to see mine. She was anxious for hers to grow and showed me how she pulls on her nipples to make them grow faster. I couldn’t understand what the big deal was and shrugged it away. In highschool, I had a good friend who was almost flatchested. She kept buying padded bras and suffered terribly and kept telling me […]

It's My Life, Trans Soul Rebel

trans soul rebel (ii): the clothes

June 13, 2019 No Comments

In the time since I have figured what “might be wrong with me” (story for another chapter), I have occasionally dared to look for more information. Sometimes in passing, skimming through links, not really wanting to read the answers to my half formulated questions, sometimes with more determination. Since I have decided to allow myself to think that I am most likely trans (I have yet to speak it out loud), I have looked at various Q&As, checked if there are any local support groups, probed the sea with a finger for reactions and finally ordered some books. One of […]

It's My Life, Ramblings

no pain like this body

March 21, 2018 No Comments

published in 2014 on my tumblr I know that virtually every human being that walked this earth since self-awareness is in trend has probably had some sort of issue with the shell they carry around. No one is ever fast, beautiful, tall, short, slim, strong enough, everyone has had the wrong type of hair or color of eyes at some point. What might have been an issue of survival or mating once, is now a major source of emotional distress and anxiety more than anything else. It seems that the more science and evolution free us from the constraints of environment, […]