family – Sights, Sounds & Rants

In the end, I don’t think anyone can say it comes as a surprise. In retrospect, a lot of things make sense, a lot of jarred images fall into place and make me go “a-ha! well, duh!”. As a kid, there were definitely instances when I said I wanted to be a boy. But the memories are too blurry to tell if I craved that on its own, or as a way to resist all the chains I felt being progressively looped around me on account of being a girl. Girls don’t run around. Girls don’t make a mess. Girls […]

when i look in my father’s eyes

I am absolutely terrified. A deep, primal terror that claws at my stomach at night, and puts a lump in my throat until I fall asleep on a pillow drenched in tears I cannot shed in daylight. I try to picture the moment when I find out you are gone (painfully aware that it might come before I get to see you again) and how it would feel to know that there will forever be a you shaped hole in my world and I cannot. I do not need your help or your advice anymore, I do not even need you […]