mood – Sights, Sounds & Rants

i do it my way

March 27, 2018 No Comments

published in 2014 on my tumblr I have a rather scary inability to compromise. I have had relationships going to waste because I cannot accept some shades of grey. I have had unpleasant discussions at work because I can’t do half-arsed things for the sake of doing them. And most of the times, I find the complete scale of values of the world around me to be pretty fucked up. Because, like every self-righteous prick out there, I too uphold the things I consider right to be right in the absolute way. Not all of them, but there are enough […]

Ramblings

making things happen

March 26, 2018 No Comments

published in 2014 on my tumblr Any advice from any friend, any therapy from any psychologist, any motivational poster out there will dish out something along these lines – taking matters into your own hands and making things happen instead of just waiting, doubting, procrastinating, fearing the possibilities and ultimately choosing inaction. If there’s just one personality trait I would like to change about me, I’d like to re-write my coding to be more of a go-getter, with the built-in self-confidence it comes with. Go out, meet people, take action, look for and seize the opportunities, rather than just cower […]

It's My Life, Ramblings

the fucks i give

March 22, 2018 No Comments

published in 2014 on my tumblr Sadly, the above photo is just wishful thinking. Nope, I do not have any kinky fantasies involving nuns, not even hotter looking ones than the granny there. I do have a really hot fantasy of myself not giving a flying fuck though. Figuratively speaking, of course, for there are also some fantasies about giving a flying fuck, literally speaking. Major chapter in the Great Book of Obvious coming up: all the stupid mental torment that doesn’t let me sleep at night is pretty real, but also pretty made up – by me, my stupid […]

Ramblings

rewiring

March 19, 2018 No Comments

published in 2014 on my tumblr According to my rather modest but usually accurate knowledge of psychology (actually, it’s more like an intuitive grasp), the story goes like this: once you identify that you have been programmed to act, think and feel a certain way through education, and even more, when you recognize when and how it happened, you perceive the mechanisms of your own social conditioning. Then you are actually in a position to consciously distance yourself from that training. You can knowingly choose to behave otherwise than ingrained. You can trust your reasoning without second-guessing it, dismissing your […]

Ramblings

adrift

March 18, 2018 No Comments

published in 2014 on my tumblr Some might argue that it is too early for me to be old and they might be right. On the other hand, thirty two might as well be halfway to death, for all I know. And when you’re halfway there, you’re usually not livin’ on a prayer, as the song goes, but rather living at a good point in time to look back, draw a line and check the direction you’re heading in. There are lucky people out there who can nod smugly and keep moving in the same direction. There are less lucky […]